hey it's mel robbins and i wanted to make this video because so many of you are writing in for advice about romantic relationships that make you question yourself so i want to teach you the five signs that your relationship is over recognizing these signs is critical even though it might be hard for you to accept it now the fact that you're even watching this video tells me that you're already thinking that this relationship isn't going to last and even if that isn't necessarily true those thoughts that you're having that make you second-guess yourself
and start acting weird and clingy those will destroy a good relationship you have a choice to make right now you either address the five things i'm about to talk about in this video or face the truth and end the relationship yourself because it's over so what are the five signs sign number one you don't feel like yourself in this relationship you feel like you're walking on eggshells you don't know how to act when you're in public or when you're around their friends
you aren't sure if you should hold hands you're uncomfortable talking about your feelings because you don't know if they're on the same page all of these things mean you don't feel comfortable being you and any relationship where you have to twist yourself into somebody that you're not in order to keep the peace it only starts a war inside of you and those kind of relationships they always blow up the second side you're constantly questioning how you should communicate if you're nervous about sending a text
asking if they want to hang out or do you obsess over whether they opened your snap but they haven't responded or how long it's been since they texted you back do they watch your instagram story but not respond to your text messages are you compulsively checking social media to try to get the clues you need that it's okay to reach out any relationship where you spend more time questioning rather than talking about communication is a relationship that's broken sign number three you think about where the relationship stands all the time
so do you constantly think about questions like where is this going are we exclusive are we committed can i introduce you to my family and take you to a work event how should i introduce you what are you thinking what do you say about me not knowing where you stand means this relationship doesn't stand a chance sign number four you're starting to get annoyed you're now the one opening snaps and not responding you're saying you're too busy to hang out in order to send a message you're hesitant to commit to future plans because you don't know
the future of this relationship you snap at them more than usual all those cute little things that used to make you laugh they're really annoying and here's the kiss of death if their name pops up on your phone or they walk through the door at the end of the day and you feel dread and not excitement that's a sign that you're over this person and the fifth and final sign you're questioning whether or not you have the same values if you're starting to feel like you're losing yourself for example maybe you're drinking more
than you'd like you're spending less time with your friends you're skipping the gym you're only doing things for example like listening to certain types of music because it interests them this is a major problem if there isn't a balance between the two of you you will always feel like a less important part of the relationship because you are now here's a quick test to see if you're losing yourself just go out alone tonight with your friends and if it feels like a relief because you can finally act like yourself that's a sign that this
is not a relationship for you i bet what you're doing is you're confusing chemistry for compatibility you see chemistry is like a match that gets lit but eventually it burns out compatibility means you and your partner bring out the best in you which is why it goes the distance so let me recap the five signs you don't feel like yourself you're constantly questioning how to communicate you think about where the relationship stands all the time
you're starting to get annoyed and you're questioning whether or not you have the same values this is the wake-up call you needed as lizzo likes to say truth hurts but clearly you need to hear it i hope this video made it easy for you to recognize when someone is no longer right for you now it's on you to accept it to move on and the next time you're about to get into a relationship remember you deserve someone who brings out the best in you hey it's mel thank you so much for
Key Themes, Chapters & Summary
Key Themes
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Loss of Self-Identity in the Relationship
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Communication Issues and Doubts
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Uncertainty About Relationship Status
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Feelings of Annoyance and Apathy
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Divergence in Values and Beliefs
Chapters
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The Dilemma of Losing Yourself
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Navigating Communication Uncertainties
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Questioning the Relationship's Future
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Dealing with Emotional Detachment
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Aligning Personal Values and Relationship Goals
Summary
The podcast transcript titled "The 5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over" by Mel Robbins is an insightful and structured guide that delves into the complexities of romantic relationships, focusing on the indicators that a relationship may be nearing its end. Robbins’ approach is descriptive and well-researched, providing a clear framework for individuals to assess their relationships.
First Sign - Losing Yourself:
Robbins begins with a critical sign: feeling like you're not yourself in the relationship. She points out that if you're walking on eggshells, unsure of how to act in public or around your partner's friends, or uncomfortable discussing your feelings, it indicates that you're twisting yourself to fit the relationship. This internal conflict is a significant red flag.
Second Sign - Communication Doubts:
The second sign revolves around constant questioning and anxiety about communication. If you find yourself obsessing over text responses, social media interactions, and feel more inclined to decipher clues rather than openly communicate, the relationship lacks a solid foundation of trust and open dialogue.
Third Sign - Uncertainty About Relationship Status:
A persistent theme in troubled relationships, according to Robbins, is the constant questioning of where the relationship stands. Constantly pondering questions about exclusivity, commitment, and future plans signals a lack of clarity and mutual understanding in the relationship.
Fourth Sign - Annoyance and Apathy:
Robbins identifies increasing annoyance and apathy as the fourth sign. If you start responding less, avoid making plans, or feel a sense of dread instead of excitement at the thought of interacting with your partner, these are indicators of emotional detachment and dissatisfaction.
Fifth Sign - Diverging Values:
The final sign Robbins discusses is questioning whether you share the same values with your partner. If you find yourself compromising on your values, habits, or preferences to accommodate your partner, it can lead to a loss of self-identity and imbalance in the relationship.
Summary and Advice:
Robbins concludes by urging listeners to recognize these signs and accept the reality if a relationship is over. She encourages viewers to seek partners who bring out the best in them, emphasizing the difference between chemistry and compatibility. Her advice is not just about recognizing when a relationship is failing, but also about understanding one’s worth and the importance of being in a relationship that fosters mutual growth and respect.
In summary, "The 5 Signs Your Relationship Is Over" provides a well-structured and insightful guide to recognizing the signs of a failing relationship. Robbins' advice is grounded in understanding personal worth and the importance of mutual respect and growth in a relationship.